I kind of hate shopping for clothes
So I remind myself that my body is not meant to fit the pants; the pants are meant to fit my body
Hello! This week we’re talking about shopping for clothes.
I kind of hate shopping for clothes. And it’s gotten worse with age. There’s a combination of factors at play. First, my body has changed, and it’s gotten harder to find clothes that fit my body, age, and personality.
But also, my highly sensitive nervous system finds clothing stores (especially dressing rooms) overwhelming and stressful. Luckily, there’s a great solution: online shopping. This method has some pros and cons:
Pros:
I don’t have to go into stores. (Yay!)
I don’t have to undress and feel hot and sweaty in dressing rooms. (Why are they so hot?!)
I can usually find clothes in my size.*
Cons:
I can’t see or feel the clothes in real life to judge color, texture, quality, drape, etc.
I have to order multiple sizes because clothing sizes are ridiculous, even within the same brand.
I do a lot of returns, and sometimes everything I order has to go back.
Look, I’m not someone who is super into fashion, but I still want to look decent. Recently I had an experience I think anyone can relate to. I tried on two different sizes of pants. One was just a smidge too small, and the other was a smidge too big. So frustrating! It’s tempting in these moments to squeeze myself into the small pair and accept the discomfort.
After all, I spent most of my life trying to inspire myself to get smaller and smaller, so of course my instinct is to try and make my body fit the pants. But those days are over. In recovery, I remind myself that my body is not meant to fit the pants; the pants are meant to fit my body.
“I wear forgiving pants. The world is too hard as it is, without letting your pants have an opinion on how you’re doing.” —Anne Lamott
So many times in my life, I allowed clothes to tell me how to feel about my body. How they fit and how they looked on my body used to dictate how I ate, exercised, and perceived myself (not just my body, but who I am as a person).
In recovery, I can’t say I never feel bad when something doesn’t fit well. The difference is that now I remind myself that I’m OK. They’re just clothes! I’ll never again let a piece of clothing affect how I treat my body (or at least I’ll try!).
"Your body has never been the problem. You are and have always been enough. May this message carry and sustain you as you continue to heal from all the trauma and shame your body has undeservedly endured." —Dr. Lisa Folden
Here’s the process I go through to treat my body with the respect it deserves when I’m shopping (online or offline):
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