Worthy in this body, right now

Self-worth is knowing we're already good enough - no hustle required

Hello! This week we’re talking about self-worth.

I spent most of my life believing I had to hustle for worthiness. My eating disorder was the most powerful method I had to control the messy, unruly parts of myself that I believed would be shunned by the people around me if I allowed myself to stop hustling.

Since I was told (and believed) my body was a problem, I oriented a lot of my self-criticism around my weight. But it didn’t stop there. I also believed I was too loud, too excitable, and generally too much.

I longed to fit in, to be accepted and loved. To do this, I fought to control and dominate the big parts of myself, including my body, voice, needs, and spirited nature.

I restricted my weight. I also restricted pleasure and ease. I restricted fury, desire, appetite, longing, despair, and loneliness. I kept myself small because I didn’t believe I was worthy without shrinking myself.